Some parents believe that piercing a baby’s ears is disrespectful to their privacy, while others think that little earrings look cute on a baby and see nothing wrong with it. Whether to pierce or not to pierce your baby’s ears is a personal decision that parents should make themselves. No one wants another family member to make such choices for them. Our reader Sarah found herself in a difficult situation regarding her baby daughter and her mother-in-law and wrote to  asking for advice.I’m feeling deeply upset and unsure about how to handle a recent situation with my mother-in-law. My husband and I have a beautiful 3-month-old daughter, and like any new mom, I want to make decisions that are best for her. My MIL often comments that our daughter looks like a boy, and she’s been persistent in suggesting that we get her ears pierced so “no one will confuse her for a boy.”

I’ve told her multiple times that I’m against it, and I thought she understood. Recently, my husband and I had our first night out since our daughter was born. My MIL volunteered to babysit our daughter. But I felt something was wrong and came home earlier. My MIL tried to hide my daughter from me, holding her tightly to her chest. Finally, she came to me and said with a smirk, “You will thank me later. She doesn’t look like a boy anymore.” To my horror, I noticed my baby’s ears were red and saw that she had tiny, sparkly earrings.I felt like she completely disregarded my wishes and took away a special moment that should have been mine to decide. Piercing my daughter’s ears was something I wanted to do, if and when I felt it was right, and to have that choice taken away has left me feeling hurt and betrayed.